Thanksgiving Success

Mealtime Strategies for Children with Sensory or Feeding Challenges

A great time for family, Thanksgiving can be stressful too. And one stress parents want to be prepared for is when the aroma of roast turkey and stuffing, along with taste of cranberry sauce, the texture of mashed potatoes and that classic green bean casserole, cause your small child to cry, gag, or refuse to eat.

For children with sensory processing challenges or feeding difficulties, Thanksgiving dinner can be the most overwhelming meal of the year. So many unfamiliar foods, strong cooking smells, mixed textures, and well-meaning relatives saying “just try one bite” can transform what should be a joyful celebration into a meltdown.

The good news? With some planning and the right strategies, you can help your child face the holiday feast without the drama. Let’s explore practical ways to make Thanksgiving dinner less stressful and more successful for children ages 0-3 who have sensory sensitivities or feeding challenges.

Why is Thanksgiving Dinner So Challenging?

The Sensory Overload Factor

Think about Thanksgiving dinner from your child’s point of view. The kitchen is filled with strong, unfamiliar smells: sage, roasting turkey, cinnamon, nutmeg. The dining room is crowded and noisy, with multiple conversations happening at once. The table is piled high with dishes your child has never seen before, many with unpredictable textures hidden under sauces or mixed together in casseroles.

 

For many children this is all exciting in a good way, helping them form those wonderful holiday memories that will last a lifetime. For a child with sensory sensitivities, this can overwhelming. Their nervous system may interpret these hectic holiday experiences as threats, triggering a fight-or-flight response. What looks like stubbornness or bad behavior is actually their body’s way of saying “this is too much.”

The Texture Challenge

Traditional Thanksgiving foods are particularly difficult for children with texture sensitivities:

• Stuffing: Soft bread mixed with vegetables, often mushy and unpredictable
• Mashed potatoes: Smooth but potentially lumpy, with an inconsistent texture
• Green bean casserole: Multiple textures combined—soft beans, crunchy onions, creamy sauce
• Cranberry sauce: Gelatinous and jiggly, which can be alarming for texture-sensitive children
• Turkey: A lot going on, with moist and dry bits along with skin that could be crispy or slippery

For a child who already struggles with mixed textures or certain consistencies, a Thanksgiving plate can look more like a scary fright on Halloween night!

The Pressure to Perform

Add to this sensory challenge the social pressure of the holiday. Extended family members who don’t see your child regularly may not understand their feeding challenges. They might encourage your child to “just try it,” compare them to siblings or cousins who eat everything, or express concern about their limited diet. This pressure, often given with the best of intentions, can make the situation worse and only increase your child’s anxiety and resistance.

Picky Eating or Sensory Food Aversion? Knowing the Difference

Before we dive into strategies, let’s talk about two behaviors that can look very similar. Is your child going through a normal phase of picky eating or experiencing sensory food aversion that may benefit from professional support.

Signs of Typical Picky Eating

Many toddlers go through phases of picky eating. This is developmentally normal and usually looks like:

• Refusing certain vegetables or meats but eating others
• Eating only favorite foods for a period of time
• Saying “no” to new foods initially
• Needing to see a new food multiple times before trying it
• Sticking to familiar flavors and textures
• Eventually expanding their diet with gentle encouragement

Typical picky eating is usually temporary. With patience and positive mealtime routines, most children gradually accept more foods as they grow.

Signs of Sensory Food Aversion

Sensory food aversion goes beyond typical pickiness. It’s about how your child’s nervous system processes sensory input around food. Watch for these signs:

• Gagging or vomiting when faced with certain textures, smells, or tastes
• Extreme distress during mealtimes, beyond typical toddler protests
• Avoiding entire food groups, such as refusing all fruits or all vegetables
• Strong negative reactions to food smells, even from across the room
• Limited diet affecting nutrition—eating fewer than 20 different foods
• Physical reactions like covering their mouth or nose, turning away, or leaving the table
• Anxiety about mealtimes that extends beyond the meal itself
• Difficulty eating in social settings like restaurants or at friends’ homes

If your child shows several of these signs consistently, they may benefit from working with a feeding therapist. Unlike typical picky eating, sensory food aversions may be difficult to get past and may benefit from caring professional support.

Creating Your Thanksgiving Success Plan

With some thoughtful planning before the holiday, you can set both yourself and your child up for success.

Before Thanksgiving Day – Talk to Your Child About What to Expect

For children ages 18 months and older, prepare them for the meal ahead of time. Use simple language to explain:

• What foods will be served
• Who will be at dinner
• How this might be different from regular dinners at home
• What they can do if they don’t like the look, smell, or taste of something

Even if your child can’t yet fully express themselves, this conversation helps them feel less anxious about the unknown.

Manage Family Expectations Early

Before Thanksgiving Day, reach out to family members who will be at the dinner. Let them know:

• Your child has feeding challenges that you’re working through
• You have a plan for handling mealtimes
• You appreciate their support, even if they don’t fully understand
• Encourage them to avoid comments to your child about any eating problems.

You might say something like: “We’re working with Jamie on expanding their diet, and we’ve learned that pressure makes it harder. The best way to support us is to let us handle mealtimes without comments. We really appreciate your understanding.”

This conversation can feel awkward, but it’s much better than managing tears and meltdowns over Thanksgiving dinner.

Redefine What Success Looks Like

Take time before Thanksgiving to think about what success really means for your family. Success might not be your child eating turkey and green beans. Instead, it might look like:

• Your child sitting at the table with the family for 10 minutes
• Them having one familiar food on their plate
• Making it through the meal without a major meltdown
• Your child touching or smelling a new food, even if they don’t eat it

Adjust your expectations to what’s realistic for your child. This mental shift helps reduce your own stress and allows you to celebrate real progress, however small.

The Safe Plate Strategy

Plan to prepare at least one “safe” food—something you know your child will eat—and serve it alongside the Thanksgiving dishes. This isn’t giving up or catering to pickiness. It’s ensuring your child has something familiar and comfortable during what might otherwise be an overwhelming experience.

Your child’s safe food might be:

• Plain pasta or rice
• Cut-up fruit they enjoy
• Simple crackers or pretzels
• Plain chicken nuggets
• Whatever food they reliably eat at home

Put this food on the table or buffet with all the other dishes. This normalizes it as part of the meal while giving your child a safe option.

During the Thanksgiving Meal

Use Small Portions and Divided Plates

If you’re encouraging your child to try new foods, use tiny portions: often a teaspoon-sized amount. For children with sensory sensitivities, even small amounts of unfamiliar food can feel overwhelming.

Consider using divided plates that keep foods from touching each other. For many sensory-sensitive children (and even some adults), foods touching on the plate creates anxiety. When the mashed potatoes mix with the cranberry sauce, it becomes a new, unpredictable texture that their senses cannot handle.

 

Offer Choices Without Pressure

Give your child some control by offering choices:

• “Would you like turkey or ham?” (if both are available)
• “Do you want your roll with butter or plain?”
• “Which vegetables would you like to try?”

What happens if they decline all options? That’s OK. Simply acknowledge their choice and make sure they have some of their safe food. Then drop it. No negotiating, no “just one bite,” no lengthy discussions. Thanksgiving dinner isn’t a battle to win, it’s a time for family.

Plan for Sensory Breaks

Even with the best preparation, the Thanksgiving environment may become too much for your sensory-sensitive child. Have a plan for easing up the stress on your child.

• Have a signal system. For older toddlers (2-3 years), create a simple hand signal they can use to tell you they’re feeling overwhelmed. This could be their cue to take a break from the table.
• Allow your child to leave the table and return when ready, without making it a big deal.
• Designate or find a quiet room where your child can retreat if needed.
• Bring comfort items like noise-canceling headphones, a favorite stuffed animal, or a weighted lap pad.

Remember, it’s OK if your child doesn’t sit through the entire meal. Participating for even a few minutes is progress worth celebrating.

Create a Buffer Zone

If possible, seat your child between you and another trusted caregiver who understands their needs. This creates a protective buffer from other family members who might unintentionally create pressure. You can also position your child away from the kitchen door if the cooking smells are particularly triggering.

After the Thanksgiving Meal

Once dinner is over, take time to reflect and celebrate.

Focus on the Positives

Look for things your child did well and acknowledge them:

• “You sat at the table with the family for 15 minutes!”
• “You smelled the sweet potatoes. That was brave!”
• “I noticed you touched the stuffing with your fork. Great exploring!”

Even if your child didn’t eat anything new, there were likely small victories worth celebrating. This positive reinforcement helps build their confidence for future meals.

Use Leftovers as Learning Opportunities

You never know. Even if your child didn’t dive in at dinner, they may be curious but were not ready to try something new in front of all those people. Good thing you have leftovers. You can offer those in the days ahead when the house is calm, it’s a regular mealtime, and your child is in their familiar environment.

When Professional Support Might Help

While many toddlers go through phases of picky eating, persistent feeding challenges may benefit from early intervention. Consider reaching out to a feeding therapist if your child:

• Eats only a small number of favorite foods consistently
• Gags or vomits when presented with new foods or certain textures
• Shows extreme distress at mealtimes that goes beyond typical toddler protests
• Avoids entire food groups (like all proteins or all vegetables)
• Has limited nutrition that concerns your pediatrician
• Shows anxiety about food that extends beyond mealtimes

Early intervention can make a significant difference, and the earlier feeding challenges are addressed, the better the outcomes tend to be. Don’t wait to seek help if you have concerns.

TEIS Early Intervention is here to help

If you have questions about your child’s feeding development or sensory challenges around food, TEIS Early Intervention can help. Our specialists listen to your concerns, assess your child’s individual needs, develop a customized treatment plan, and coach you through simple, routine-based solutions to help your child thrive.

Call us at 412-271-8347 or ask your pediatrician about getting an Early Intervention evaluation.

Early intervention evaluations and therapy services are available under the Federal Early Intervention Program for Infants and Toddlers with Disabilities. Before services can begin, an independent evaluation of your child must be completed. To ensure impartiality, one agency provides evaluation services while another offers therapeutic services.

To schedule an evaluation, call 1-800-692-7288 or email help@connectpa.net